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Why I Avoid Anyone Who Owns a Schnitzel Dog
There are many liberate online maiden games, one that is currently the rage has a flagellum chasing a Chihuahua. People playing the lame can be the scourge or they can be the dog. There's furthermore a phone rendition of the halting that women often play while their spawn throw knives at each fresh in the additional room, or while they catastrophe through discontinue notation without even slowing.
That defective got me thinking about one of the major internal peeves in life: schnitzel dogs.
Everyone has a few warning symbols in people.
Something that, if they see a comrade do, or if they see a friend with that attribute, makes them instinctively wary and decide that the friend isn't all there or isn't wired right.
For me it's schnitzel dogs.
By that, I mean dogs shaped like a schnitzel.
I was in DC, living with four marines.
Let's equitable gibber no one picked a fight with us when we went to the bar. Now you would surmise that a company of marines would own a crater bull, or German Shepherd, or Great Dane, or some dog with a least a smidgeon of spoiled ass in it.
The boy that owned the domicile had two dachshunds.
I was housesitting for a few days while they camped, and couldn't go front I had to work. The two dachshunds were in heat, the female's vagina had swollen to the speck where it looked like a ripe strawberry.
The virile chaser her around the domicile for hours on end, but she wouldn't consign it up. I would retain held her down for him if it would retain shut him up.
From that moment on, I hated schnitzel dogs.
A few weeks, later, I came home early, and caught the hotelier of the habitat and the dachshunds watching footage.
It was of an AC-130 Spectre flying gunship killing Iraqi civilians.
He was beating off to it.
Over the years, I met many more folks who owned tiny dogs, but never someone normal.
You always see their owners bring schnitzel dogs into civic places, as if they are some friendly of protection overlay or something. They'll put known on the mutts, navvy knit sweaters, ribbons in their hair, even tacky rarely hats.
They'll talk to them, even manage the dog in their arms like a baby.
Couldn't the item survive in the car for a few minutes? Sure it could.
Whether the whacked in the commander neurotic dog publician could is a separate question.
The bark of a schnitzel dog is like fingers being scraped down a blackboard.
They bark incessantly, and often oscillate like atoms while doing so. One is reminded of royalty that inbred too much.
Even if I meet someone who I conjecture is cool, when I see they posses a schnitzel dog, I run.
No debate how sane she seems, if she has a schnitzel dog, she's a psycho. Bank on it.
These days when I see someone frittering away hours on one of those liberate online colleen games in which the lash tries to danger the Chihuahua, I always think of schnitzel dogs.
If I was Bill Gates, I'd charter Adam Viniateri to be my partner schnitzel neutralizer. To unbiased run up to any schnitzel I saw, and punt it so laborious it would later up in low haunt orbit.