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You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets
I was attending a presentation by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Frank McCourt, discussing the ins and outs of writing a memoir. Frank McCourt won the prestigious award for his nucleus wrenching description of his impoverished life in Limerick, Ireland titled "Angela’s Ashes".
I had received the tale from my grandfather on the day of my grandmother’s funeral. I was wandering around their house, trying to find a memento of my grandmother that I could bring with me to keep the closeness I always felt with her. Due to my affection of reading, my grandfather suggested I bear one of her many books.
Next to her bedside was "Angela’s Ashes" and I knew in an instant that that was what I was meant to carry with me.
My grandmother’s parents were immigrants from Ireland and she had passed her heart of her heritage onto me.
What a fitting honour to study a romance about Ireland that was sitting subsequent to her bed the day of her funeral. I devoured the story in a few days and, although the memoir was sad, shocking and inspirational all at the equivalent time, I felt an even deeper connection to my grandmother and our Irish roots.
I epigram my grandmother’s sister a few weeks latter and told her how touched I was to construe the book; how it felt like my grandmother had left it specifically for me.
She smiled, patted my navvy and in a sweet voice she spoken “Honey she HATED that book”. She explained that the Irish do NOT prate about their secrets and the parent had bared his issue secrets for the whole cosmos to read.
After the presentation about his experience writing his memoir, I waited in column for my ensue to obtain my narrative signed.
When I was finally in govern of him I said “Mr. McCourt, I loved your book. My grandmother however hated it”. He looked up at me and uttered “She was Irish?” I nodded and he told me that that was the routine of it; the Irish did not like him sharing his secrets.
It was in that moment that I realized the undertone of my heritage; I started to see things from a clearer perspective.
Until then I never noticed how “undesirable” things were not discussed or how certain stories and rumors were neither confirmed nor denied.
Things were often swept subservient the carpet and left there.
However years end I attended a retrieval program to deal with my ex-husband’s alcohol addiction.
In that program I witnessed folks baring their souls to entire strangers week after week and I watched them vacate each meeting lighter. I listened in awe but besides with an uncomfortable feeling; a opinion of nakedness and exposure.
Then I heard the aphorism that changed how I approached my situation:
“You’re only as sick as your secrets”
If I wanted to achieve better, I essential to be perceptive to quota and jettison myself from the people, places and things that I instinctively wanted to inspect subservient the rug of my mind.
Once I began to open up and slice my story, I began to see why Frank McCourt was compelled to write his memoir; he was tired of being sick from his secrets.
As I write this blog I am aware of the decision that, it took someone else’s alcohol addiction to help me become healthier. I moreover sense that my grandmother smiles from heaven every situation she reads what I’ve written and she’s proud that I am passing along my openness to the successive generation; my heirs leave notice what it manner to be Irish AND gibber about their deepest, darkest thoughts without judgment.
Hopefully they in turn entrust canyon along a feelings of their heritage and a willingness to delay the disease of secrets.
• How receptive and virtuous was your issue of origin? What did you learn from how certain situations were handled?
• What secrets are you keeping remedy now? Who do you keep in your life that you trust to offices you and allow you to measure your secrets?
• How trustworthy are you for someone to measure their secrets? How can you offices another person to discharge themselves?