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You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets
I was attending a presentation by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Frank McCourt, discussing the ins and outs of writing a memoir.
Frank McCourt won the prestigious award for his kernel wrenching description of his impoverished life in Limerick, Ireland titled "Angela’s Ashes".
I had received the novel from my grandfather on the day of my grandmother’s funeral.
I was wandering around their house, trying to find a memento of my grandmother that I could bear with me to keep the closeness I always felt with her.
Due to my affection of reading, my grandfather suggested I take one of her many books.
Next to her bedside was "Angela’s Ashes" and I knew in an instant that that was what I was meant to move with me.
My grandmother’s parents were immigrants from Ireland and she had passed her emotions of her heritage onto me.
What a fitting salutation to construe a romance about Ireland that was sitting subsequent to her bed the day of her funeral.
I devoured the novel in a few days and, although the memoir was sad, shocking and inspirational all at the duplicate time, I felt an even deeper connection to my grandmother and our Irish roots.
I axiom my grandmother’s sister a few weeks modern and told her how touched I was to read the book; how it felt like my grandmother had left it specifically for me.
She smiled, patted my drudge and in a sweet voice she verbal “Honey she HATED that book”.
She explained that the Irish do NOT gibber about their secrets and the fountain had bared his issue secrets for the complete system to read.
After the presentation about his experience writing his memoir, I waited in sequence for my ensue to retain my novel signed.
When I was finally in cause of him I oral “Mr.
McCourt, I loved your book.
My grandmother however hated it”.
He looked up at me and said “She was Irish?” I nodded and he told me that that was the fashion of it; the Irish did not like him sharing his secrets.
It was in that moment that I realized the undertone of my heritage; I started to see things from a clearer perspective.
Until then I never noticed how “undesirable” things were not discussed or how certain stories and rumors were neither confirmed nor denied.
Things were often swept below the carpet and left there.
However years second I attended a compensation program to covenant with my ex-husband’s alcohol addiction.
In that program I witnessed kin baring their souls to entire strangers week after week and I watched them quit each meeting lighter.
I listened in awe but moreover with an uncomfortable feeling; a teaching of nakedness and exposure.
Then I heard the aphorism that changed how I approached my situation:
“You’re only as sick as your secrets”
If I wanted to obtain better, I required to be alert to slice and unburden myself from the people, places and things that I instinctively wanted to sweep unbefitting the rug of my mind.
Once I began to willing up and part my story, I began to see why Frank McCourt was compelled to write his memoir; he was tired of being sick from his secrets.
As I write this blog I am aware of the scorn that, it took someone else’s alcohol addiction to support me become healthier.
I also understand that my grandmother smiles from eternity every situation she reads what I’ve written and she’s proud that I am fleeting along my openness to the successive generation; my spawn leave sense what it method to be Irish AND chat about their deepest, darkest thoughts without judgment.
Hopefully they in turn consign chasm along a feelings of their heritage and a willingness to desist the disease of secrets.
• How alert and upright was your issue of origin? What did you learn from how certain situations were handled?
• What secrets are you keeping amend now? Who do you hold in your life that you trust to assistance you and allow you to measure your secrets?
• How trustworthy are you for someone to portion their secrets? How can you backing another person to unburden themselves?