I Need A Dog Sitter
I Need A Dog Sitter
Why I Avoid Anyone Who Owns a Schnitzel Dog
There are many unshackle online miss games, one that is currently the rage has a scourge chasing a Chihuahua.
People playing the halting can be the flagellum or they can be the dog.
There's moreover a phone rendition of the halting that women often machination while their descendants shy knives at each further in the further room, or while they blow through pause cipher without even slowing.
That limping got me reasoning about one of the major domestic peeves in life: schnitzel dogs.
Everyone has a few warning hieroglyphics in people.
Something that, if they see a person do, or if they see a man with that attribute, makes them instinctively leery and decide that the man isn't all there or isn't wired right.
For me it's schnitzel dogs.
By that, I mean dogs shaped like a schnitzel.
I was in DC, living with four marines.
Let's just prattle no one picked a fight with us when we went to the bar.
Now you would believe that a side of marines would obtain a hole bull, or German Shepherd, or Great Dane, or some dog with a least a smidgeon of blighted ass in it.
The guy that owned the abode had two dachshunds.
I was housesitting for a few days while they camped, and couldn't go bob I had to work.
The two dachshunds were in heat, the female's vagina had swollen to the iota where it looked like a ripe strawberry.
The mainly chaser her around the domicile for hours on end, but she wouldn't consign it up.
I would own held her down for him if it would own shut him up.
From that moment on, I hated schnitzel dogs.
A few weeks, later, I came home early, and caught the hotelkeeper of the domicile and the dachshunds watching footage.
It was of an AC-130 Spectre flying gunship killing Iraqi civilians.
He was beating off to it.
Over the years, I met many additional kin who owned tiny dogs, but never someone normal.
You always see their owners move schnitzel dogs into civic places, as if they are some benign of preventive shroud or something.
They'll put recognized on the mutts, menial wrinkle sweaters, ribbons in their hair, even tacky seldom hats.
They'll natter to them, even bear the dog in their arms like a baby.
Couldn't the thing survive in the car for a few minutes? Sure it could.
Whether the whacked in the leader neurotic dog hotelkeeper could is a separate question.
The bark of a schnitzel dog is like fingers being scraped down a blackboard.
They bark incessantly, and often delay like atoms while doing so.
One is reminded of royalty that inbred too much.
Even if I meet someone who I believe is cool, when I see they obtain a schnitzel dog, I run.
No debate how sane she seems, if she has a schnitzel dog, she's a psycho.
Bank on it.
These days when I see someone frittering away hours on one of those liberate online colleen games in which the bullwhip tries to hazard the Chihuahua, I always suppose of schnitzel dogs.
If I was Bill Gates, I'd agreement Adam Viniateri to be my companion schnitzel neutralizer.
To unbiased run up to any schnitzel I saw, and punt it so tiring it would second up in low covert orbit.