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You're Only As Sick As Your Secrets
I was attending a presentation by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Frank McCourt, discussing the ins and outs of writing a memoir. Frank McCourt won the prestigious award for his pith wrenching description of his impoverished life in Limerick, Ireland titled "Angela’s Ashes".
I had received the tale from my grandfather on the day of my grandmother’s funeral. I was wandering around their house, trying to find a memento of my grandmother that I could move with me to preserve the closeness I always felt with her. Due to my affection of reading, my grandfather suggested I manage one of her many books.
Next to her bedside was "Angela’s Ashes" and I knew in an instant that that was what I was meant to bring with me.
My grandmother’s parents were immigrants from Ireland and she had passed her passion of her heritage onto me.
What a fitting testimonial to read a book about Ireland that was sitting next to her bed the day of her funeral. I devoured the book in a few days and, although the memoir was sad, shocking and inspirational all at the alike time, I felt an even deeper connection to my grandmother and our Irish roots.
I saw my grandmother’s sister a few weeks modern and told her how touched I was to scrutinize the book; how it felt like my grandmother had left it specifically for me.
She smiled, patted my labourer and in a sweet voice she said “Honey she HATED that book”. She explained that the Irish do NOT talk about their secrets and the parent had bared his family secrets for the complete system to read.
After the presentation about his experience writing his memoir, I waited in succession for my ensue to retain my romance signed.
When I was finally in model of him I uttered “Mr. McCourt, I loved your book. My grandmother however hated it”. He looked up at me and uttered “She was Irish?” I nodded and he told me that that was the fashion of it; the Irish did not like him sharing his secrets.
It was in that moment that I realized the undertone of my heritage; I started to see things from a clearer perspective.
Until then I never noticed how “undesirable” things were not discussed or how certain stories and rumors were neither confirmed nor denied.
Things were often swept underneath the carpet and left there.
However years end I attended a reclamation program to pact with my ex-husband’s alcohol addiction.
In that program I witnessed kin baring their souls to whole strangers week after week and I watched them vacate each meeting lighter. I listened in awe but besides with an uncomfortable feeling; a teaching of nakedness and exposure.
Then I heard the epigram that changed how I approached my situation:
“You’re only as sick as your secrets”
If I wanted to attain better, I vital to be sensitive to slice and unload myself from the people, places and things that I instinctively wanted to search beneath the rug of my mind.
Once I began to willing up and part my story, I began to see why Frank McCourt was compelled to write his memoir; he was tired of being sick from his secrets.
As I write this blog I am aware of the ridicule that, it took someone else’s alcohol addiction to support me become healthier. I furthermore perceive that my grandmother smiles from kingdom every juncture she reads what I’ve written and she’s proud that I am momentary along my openness to the succeeding generation; my issue consign comprehend what it manner to be Irish AND gossip about their deepest, darkest thoughts without judgment.
Hopefully they in turn entrust gulch along a passion of their heritage and a willingness to gap the illness of secrets.
• How willing and virtuous was your issue of origin? What did you learn from how certain situations were handled?
• What secrets are you keeping right now? Who do you have in your life that you trust to support you and allow you to part your secrets?
• How trustworthy are you for someone to part their secrets? How can you support another comrade to discharge themselves?